Der Erlkönig

By Franz Schubert

No, the Weird is Not Over

Okay, I haven't even moved since my last blog post. But I've just found out that the Obama campaign is spending up to $6 million on a 30 MINUTE TV AD. Seriously people? Seriously? Were you and your campaign not satisfied with the fact that you have the press in you pocket? According to this article on the BBC website, Obama has raised "$660m, twice as much as Senator McCain - is being used to flood key states with TV advertising."

"He is likely to spend more than $100m on TV advertising in October alone, more than Senator McCain's entire campaign budget, which is limited to $84m because he opted to accept federal funds."

I mean, is this really necessary? No. Absolutely no! And I'm hoping that it will have the effect that I'm guessing it will have, that is, to turn people off a little bit. The near messianic treatment this guy is getting is going to make me barf. It. Is. Ridiculous. He is just a politician. That is all. He does not even have an impressive track record after his, what, 4 years as Senator? Woohoo. But all he has to do is say the word "change" and people act like he's the pinnacle of the modern statesman. But I really don't understand WHY a 30 minute TV ad is necessary for a politican who's campaign is obviously dominating his opponent's. And WHO is giving his campaign all this money? What is the deal with this guy? Who's back is he scratching that he is able to roll all over everyone like this? That the media grovel at his feet and the McCain campaign seems perpetually cursed? I'm not one for conspiracy theories, but I know how politics work. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

Return to Normal Now, Yes?

So I thought that I was done with the weird portion of my day. Not quite it seems.

We got our Worldview papers back in Core at the end of class. I did pretty well, 93, A-. Even Mary Trotter had said that Core 350 is just one of those classes you have to accept you won't get an 'A' in. But then I started looking through the comments. How weird, I didn't know my D Group leader would be grading both drafts. Wait... There are no marks on my final draft. But it's not possible... So I went to see Brooke for the second time today. I apologized for bothering her so often but explained that I hadn't realized she would be grading both drafts. She said she only graded the final drafts. Um. The meeting ended in a lot of laughter and I resubmitted my paper for (hopefully!) a better score. I hadn't even used MLA citation in my rough draft. She wrote this long comment about how MLA citation is supposed to work. Sweet taffy I hope I know how to use MLA citation by my senior year in college! I can't believe she still gave me a 93...

And so, with a little humor added to my day, I went to buy some lunch as I need to go grocery shopping. There was a very long line for sandwhiches, so I decided to go to the taco bar. I love quesedillas, but I really hadn't eaten very well yesterday so I thought maybe some tacos with lettuce and tomato etc. would be a better option. So I ordered them, and the guy gave them to me, and then I realized as I was walking away that he hadn't even put any lettuce and tomato on them! What the heck? Oh well. It was about the same as a chicken quesedilla anyways.

And so onward to Editing, Layout and Design. Who knows what weirdness will follow. Good grief the day's only half over.

I Believe In Evil Stress Fairies

Firstly, why is that whenever I log onto blogger at school, it's always in kanji? Moving on.

Evil Stress Fairies are out to get me. I can think of no other explanation.

First I incorrectly wrote in my planner that I had a project due today AND Friday and my journalism class. It's only due Friday...

So after freaking out about that last night I stayed up until 1:00 in the morning working on my policy paper proposal for Core 350. I hate that class. I didn't quite finish, so I saved it to my computer to work on in the morning and studied a bit for the analysis portion of my Music History midterm.

So this morning I got up at 6:30 and was in the HUB at 7:30 when I realized that I had forgotten I would need a CD player for the analysis portion of my midterm. My plan had been to pick up the one that I'm not even sure works anymore at my house over fall break, but I had forgotten. So I frantically thought of alternatives. It was too late to ask my housemates if they had one I could borrow, so I emailed Strauch really quick to ask if I could use my laptop (which I had just happened to bring to work on Core stuff) OR possibly transfer it to my iPod, which I had also happened to bring. After an anxious half hour I ran into the man himself and he said laptops were fine. Phew! In fact, over half the class used them.

BUT right before the midterm started I realized I had misplaced my headphones. I thought I had them in my pocket but no. After digging through my backpack and checking the computer lab I finally found them tucked underneath some things I hadn't taken out of my backpack since going to Seattle... Okay. Midterm went fine. Now to finish that Core outline.

I went downstairs, opened my laptop, went to open my email... CRASH! My computer FREAKED OUT! Weird colors, black screen, letters running together to form gibberish weirdness! Great. Now I can't print any of what I was up late last night working on. After 5 attempts to restart my computer, I finally went to my discussion group leader to explain what had happened. She said that if I wanted I could try and get as much of the worksheet done as I could and as long as I turned that in before class was over I'd be fine. Grumbling to the Dixon computer lab I prepared to rewrite my entire assignment. In one last act of rebellion and bitterness I attempted to restart my computer again. It worked just fine.

Can I just say, what the heck?

Well That Was Awful

Briefly: I think the Marcus Roberts clinic today will forever be one of my worst memories of performing ever. I was so embarrassed by how poorly I did. I had the opportunity to play and be critiqued by an outstanding jazz artist, and I messed it up, played the wrong chords, and got lost during my solo. In was so embarrassed, and the jazz combos and instructors from Eastern and Whitworth were all there to witness me making a complete fool out of myself in front of these great jazz musicians. Oh yes, and the symphony staff. Could somebody please kill me so that I never I have to face these people again. Why do I always screw up when it really matters? I'm so unbelievably disappointed in myself, and I don't even want to think about combo rehearsal on Monday, or ensemble on Tuesday, or seeing Keberle and Edstrom around the music building and knowing that I reflected poorly on their program, their teaching and the university.

The jazz gig tonight went well though. I just tried to enjoy the relaxed environment and have fun, which was nice. The people there really seemed to enjoy it too, which is always nice. But it's been a weird day, and I kind of wish I could erase the whole thing from memory and start over.

A Political Observation

I plan on blogging about the purse fiasco eventually. But first there's something I just have to mention in relation to this year's presidential election: I was aware of Barack Obama when I was a senior in high school. Yes. It's true. And here's why.

My school required that we take a Contemporary World Problems (I think) or CWP class. This was led by my amazing honors English teacher Mr. Strait (who, once again, I really should catch up with one of these days). It wasn't a very intense course. Mostly he just has us read "Newsweek" and would lead discussions on certain topics and have us write opinion papers. And so it is that I have read every single issue of Newsweek from September 2004 to probably January. I don't remember if it was a two semester course or just one. And that's where I found out about Barack Obama.

The minute I started paying attention to the presidential primaries I vividly remembered reading the Newsweek article and I wasn't at all surprised to see Barack Obama as a candidate OR that he beat out Hillary Clinton. I won't be surprised when he becomes president. I honestly don't think John McCain has a prayer. So today I went to the Whitworth library to see if I could find the particular issue that had tipped me off to the guy who has become such a media all-star. I first found a short bit on him in the Nov. 1 issue. It's just a small box with the headline "Star Bringing In the Money." It was about his work campaigning for John Kerry. It says "Obama's campaigning (for himself for Senate and for Kerry) has prompted plenty of rumors about his ambitions in Washington--and, should Kerry lose, in 2008. But for his part, Obama has played coy on what the future holds, saying recently, 'I'm just a lowly state senator trying to get into the U.S. Senate.'" Very interesting.

In the issue covering Bush's victory, Obama is not listed as one of the democratic hopefuls for 2008. Hillary Clinton is present, but few of the other actual contenders are. And then I found it. The "Who's Next Issue." He is on the COVER. "2005 Barack Obama, A Rising Star Who Wants to Get Beyond Blue vs. Red." Wow. I mean, just wow. I think it's fairly obvious that Obama has a powerful media engine behind him. I mean, the biased coverage is almost to the point of ludicrous. Nobody really seems to care. I won't rant on it too much. Let's just say it really, really annoys me. But EVEN back in 2005... Obama was already a big deal. A very big deal.

Now, to clarify on this post and why I'm making it. My conservative friends tend to think that I too am conservative. My liberal friends likewise tend to think that I am liberal. So to clarify, I am neither. Just confused. And indecisive. One of those scary independents who are so influential and also so easily influenced/manipulated. I think both presidential candidates have major, major flaws and am uncomfortable voting for either of them. But obviously I have to choose. But I wanted to point out that Obama has had an edge on this election from day 1, and that was the media. Whether he's just media-savvy, has the right connections, or has really influential people behind him (probably a combination of all three) the media, almost ALL of them (that's right Dr. McPherson, despite your claims for conservative media-bias, which I think are ridiculous). Anyways, where was I? The media. In. Obama's. Pocket. Like a puppet. Every story about him I have read is how it's so "historical" or about how the only people who won't vote for him are racist, etc. Every story about McCain is actually about Sarah Palin or about how angry and negative he's been etc. And it just floors me that this goes all the way back to 2005. Who did Newsweek predict as Republican nominee for 2008? Rick Santorum. Rick who? John McCain gets mug shot and a box. Kind of shows you what he's up against. Or was up against. Even in 2005.

Laszlo Polgar

So we're watching "The Magic Flute" in Music History. Amazing. Despite the fact that it is sexist, racist, and about how wonderful freemasonry is. The particular production we are watching is rather quirky, but very fun. It's not like a blockbuster Met production but historically more accurate, trying to imitate how the opera would have been presented in Mozart's day.

Anyways, it is very fun and reaffirming the rather obvious conviction that Mozart was a genius. All the performers are good, but the guy who plays Sarastro, Laszlo Polgar, has the most amazing bass voice ever! He shows up late in the second act but the minute he started singing I thought "wow! That is amazing!" I love it when guys have deep, rich singing voices. Anyhow, here is a short clip of him singing Sarastro's second aria. It is not my favorite piece of music, but you have to agree that his voice is (or at least was, I don't know if he's still singing), pretty spectacular.

Marcus Roberts is a Very Big Deal...

On October 18th I will be playing with the Whitworth Jazz Ensemble and with my jazz combo for a clinic with Marcus Roberts, who is an extraordinary jazz pianist... Yikes! Needless to say, I'm quite frightened. Check out his website and you'll see why.

The Real World?

I experienced a slight slap in the face this afternoon. It happened in the library, where I witnessed possibly the first instance of "bullying" I've ever seen on campus. I was in the reading room, happily skimming the paper when a loud group of three entered.

I heard a "Hey man, what's up," and only then noticed the other student that had been in the room with me. He was kind of short, pasty, a little overweight, and wearing glasses. The two guys in the group, who were addressing him, were tall, muscular, tan, with backwards baseball caps and pants that didn't cover their underwear. There was a girl with them. Thin, tan, stylish. It was almost out of a badly written Hollywood movie.

The new group proceeded to form a sort of circle around the kid, the sarcasm apparent in their voices as they asked how he was doing, one of them actually ruffled his hair. I wondered if it was some sort of social norm experiment by the sociology department. I nearly fell out of my chair when one of the guys asked "how's the females?" in a not so subtle jibe at the other guy's lack of physical attractiveness. Not surprisingly, he didn't know how to respond. The aggressive dialogue continued for a bit before the recipient got up and said he was leaving because he had to study for a test and didn't want to be bothered. At this point I'd been glaring at the group of them, in spite of myself, without even trying to hide my disdain. I thought I'd left this behind in high school! Did they honestly think this was appropriate behavior? How old were these kids?

They managed to calm him down a bit and he stayed and chatted with them. I kept expecting them to openly laugh at some of his comments, which were unfortunately a little dorky. But at this point hopefully they realized they were acting like jerks because they managed to show some restraint. I was interested to see what sort of conversation would follow after he left, but either because I was there or because another friend of theirs showed up they didn't pursue the topic. I personally found their lack of acceptance sickening. It's one thing to not understand somebody else because they are different. It's another to victimize them because of it.

Anyhow, this relatively minor occurence is the type of thing I'm fairly sensitive too, because I always identify with the recipient. And it got me thinking that maybe I'm overestimating the ability of people to mature. Maybe behavior that I find to be clearly adolescent really continues far beyond what I think of as an excusable age. Maybe they were just dumb freshmen. I don't know.

I've been really sheltered here at Whitworth, which boasts of a relatively supportive and accepting community. I've been able to surround myself with "people like me." A complete change from what my life before college was like. But I've heard that this adds to the difficulty of life after Whitworth, because I will no longer be sheltered in a dominantly Christian community or spending most of my day with people who understand why I would rather go to a symphony concert than a performance given by Green Day or something like that. And while it's been great to have that freedom to be myself, and to not be ashamed of who I am, I have to realize that it's not going to last.

In fact, one of my frustrations with academia in general is that it's all so artificial. This is especially true in the music department, as with other arts I'm sure. My music profs and fellow students have built their own little musical world, where it becomes almost unthinkable that anyone would think classical music is "boring." But the truth is that most of the things I love are ignored or looked down upon by most people. It's something I've had to struggle with growing up, because I'm one of those people who always craves acceptance and will do almost anything to gain it. Even compromise my personal beliefs. But I don't want to be that way. And I don't want to have to isolate myself in my own special little bubble of like-minded people. I want to be strong enough to engage with others who aren't necessarily like me. But the challenge is that other people generally aren't that accepting of people different from themselves, as evidenced today. On one level this makes sense. If I don't share basic values with someone, I'm going to have a difficult time respecting them. On the other hand, I don't want to parade myself as some sort of intellectually and spiritually elite snob. Especially because I am neither of the two. I don't go much in for elitism anyways.

Anyhow, in many ways I'm eager to get out into the real world, even if I'm apprehensive. I don't really feel strong enough for it. But, and I never thought I'd say this, college life is becoming somewhat bland. I go to class, jump through the hoop of the day, watch my professors lead me on a string to the next idea, etc. I appreciate the things I AM learning, but most of my classes no longer seem that engaging or interesting. Part of it I think is that I realize it's coming to an end, and I'm anxious to establish myself wherever I'm going to be next. The uncertainty of it is what's driving me forward.

I had some other thing to rant about here that I've forgotten. Probably it had to do with how I don't feel ready for "the rest of my life." Or maybe my anxiety about the economy and how my grand dreams of living in another country for a year are likely not going to work out. In any case, I'm not really depressed per se. Just a little uneasy and struggling with how to be "in the world but not of the world." I suppose the bottom line is whatever I succeed or fail to experience or accomplish in the coming years, the most important factor will lie in my love for God and my desire to serve him. I don't know quite where I "fit" yet, but I don't have to fit anywhere to love others as myself, as high of a mandate as that is. Anyhow, this is all very random and confused, which likely reflects my state of mind, so now I'm going to go do something, hopefully productive.

The Five Levels of Acknowledgement on the Hello Walk

So I just experienced one of those awkward Whitworth sidewalk moments where you're not sure whether you should say hello etc. And that got me thinking. There are levels of "hello" here at Whitworth.



Basically, there are 2 kinds of people on campus. People who say hello to complete strangers and people who don't. We'll call them Type A and Type B. The tricky part is, if you are Type A, you have to discern who is of your kind and who isn't. If you are Type B, you just don't worry about it.



This leads us to the Five Levels of Acknowledgement on the Hello Walk.



Level One actually has two options. A and B. Option A is what happens when 2 Type As who are complete strangers meet. They acknowledge each other's presence in some way (more on this later). If one or both of the people are Bs, then no greeting will happen. BUT in both cases there is a prefunctory awkward test to see whether or not a greeting will be responded to. For example, if two people happen to meet, an A will try to make eye contact. If the other person also attempts to make eye contact, and eye contact indeed happens, both parties can be fairly sure that a greeting will not go unacknowledged. IF however the other person just continues to walk staring straight ahead, that is obviously a B and you will be crushed and ignored if you try to wave at them.



So much for the prelimary stage. Next comes the method of acknowledgement. For most a silent wave or nod will do (usually accompanied by a smile). But some take it a tiny step further and mouth a greeting. That's right. Mouth. I've caught myself doing this multiple times. Instead of actually saying "hello," you just pretend to say it. Usually it degenerates into you just silently opening your mouth, giving the appearance of being awestruck by the stranger's presence.



Level Two is similarly tricky because this is a greeting between acquaintances. Level Two could be called the "how are you?" level. You see the person and say something along the lines of "how's it going?" Not because you really want to know, but because this is code for "you are not a complete stranger." The problem is, after having say 14 credits of classes and being involved in multiple clubs, a Whitworth student makes many acquaintances that in some cases they never have close contact with again. The tricky thing is when to terminate a Level Two type of acknowledgement with someone you've only had one class with and put them again in Level One status. Unfortunately there is no formula. It is different for everybody. I can be IN a class with someone on a team with them and get a Type B Level One response. Or I can have sat next to them in Core 150 once and still be asking them about their current status.



Level Three is when you know more than just a person's hair color and that you had Writing I with them last fall. A few basic facts such as what their major is, what year they are, and who their friends are, are necessary. These types of greetings are really intermediary between Two and Four. "How are you?" begins to be a sincere question, but will illicit a fairly short response, generally about how much homework they have or something.



Level Four is the Extended Circle of Friends level. Maybe it's someone you know quite well, but don't see very often. These conversations are frequently LONGER than Level Five conversations, because you end up explaining your entire schedule etc. to them every time you see them. Because you don't see them very often. Recently it's been a typical greeting I've used for friends who have been abroad. We'll stand in the HUB for roughly half an hour while I hear the basics about what it was like in Africa. Then we will plan to meet for coffee sometime when we're not so busy and forget.



Level Five, the Whitworth Friends for Life level. Or just the You're a Really Touchy Feely person level. Level Five greetings are obvious because they always start with a huge hug and either a "I'm so excited to see you" or a launch into the latest rant of why that person hates Core 350.

And there you have it.

A Shining Ray of Hope

It's amazing how much a small gesture can make a difference. I was once again dreading Jazz Ensemble today. I wondered just how much I would embarrass myself this time, etc.

The rehearsal wasn't too awful. I got told again that I need to dig in more, but that's nothing new. Afterwards though, Dr. Keberle asked me if "I was okay," and whether or not he was "yelling" at me too much. Well that's kind of awkward. But at the same time it kind of broke the ice for me. I was able to come out and say "no! I WANT to improve and I need feedback to do that!" And just being able to communicate that was really helpful for me for some reason. I no longer have to take his criticisms personally and hopefully he no longer has to worry about damaging my fragile female psyche. *rolls eyes* So hopefully I will no longer have feel sick three days out of the week. At the same time I'm wondering "Am I really that transparent?" Maybe it was the abject terror in my eyes every time I walked into the band room.

Oh dear. So another example of Heidi being silly and feeling stupid. But, er, in a positive way.

Great, so now I'm everyone's mommy?

I just got the following email from Brent.

Dear students,
Please submit a schedule to Eric Moe ASAP if you haven’t done so already. Eric mentioned that he hadn’t yet heard from everyone so I’m writing with this gentle reminder. This will be a very strong and fun group so I want to get the ball rolling as soon as possible.

Heidi: Please talk to Isaac, Blair and Kurt at the next rehearsal to narrow down a possible rehearsal time.

Best regards
Brent

Um, so why am I the one who's responsible for narrowing down a rehearsal time? Could it possibly be that I'm the only one that sent Eric my schedule? *rolls eyes* Boys.

Senior Year

So it's been a really long time since I've posted. I'm guessing much of this year will be like that because I'm rather busy, and being a senior has a lot of extra things to think about, like what I'm going to do for the rest of my life, or even just next year.

But, even if I don't have a really great start in mind for next year, things are coming to a very satisfactory close this year. Getting my summer job was a great confidence boost. For all the negative things that came out of that, the one great thing was that I became so much more confident as a person. In comparing myself to what I was like freshman year, I can tell I've changed a lot. Which is a good thing. Even if I never use my major in a professional setting (which I hope won't be the case) college has been good for me in that respect.

Auditions went very smoothly this year and I'm in all the groups I tried out for. That means Jazz Ensemble, Jazz Combo, Christmas Quartets, and Vocal Jazz Class. I'm excited to be singing again, after a very long hiatus. I'm not nearly as anxious about jazz combo as I was last year, in part because I've proven that I'm up to it, and in part because I feel that I am respected as a musician by the guys I'm playing with. I no longer feel like I need to apologize for my failings, because I feel like we're closer to be being on the same level.

Jazz Ensemble is another thing altogether. While it's kind of a sign of prestige in Whitworth's jazz community to be a member of "the award winning Whitworth Jazz Ensemble, led by Dr. Dan Keberle" it's also a royal pain. Three stress-filled rehearsals a week. Oh boy. It's not that I dislike Dr. Keberle. It's that he's a very critical and exacting sort of person. That's what makes him a good ensemble leader. It's also what makes him scary beyond all reason. There's just something inherently intimidating in his manner. In addition, I'm the only girl in the ensemble and I'm not particularly excited about the guest artist that's coming this year. So despite the prestige, I'm not really looking forward to it all that much. Which is a funny thing, because I would've given my left eye a couple of years ago if I even thought I might have a chance at playing in this ensemble. Ah well.

So I'm sure I will grow a lot as a musician this year, as I have every year. The music department has done its job well. I'm not sure how far I will continue as a musician. Supply greatly exceeds demand, and while I love music, it's not what I value the most in life. I'll practice hard and I'll always play (and probably teach in some capacity), but there are other things that are equally and more important to me. I plan to leave room for those, even if it means being relegated to the status of "talented amateur." After all, being an amateur is a wonderful thing. The root of the word is "love."

But I am ambivalent (I used this word earlier today and liked it so much I'm using it again) as to what direction I should take after college. A not uncommon predicament I'm given to understand. I have ideas of what I'd like to do. But they stop short of being concrete goals. Because what if it doesn't work out? It's kind of a form of cowardice I suppose, but I'm just not willing to commit to a plan that contains the possibility that I might not succeed. It's something I'll have to get over. But I recognize that when you stake a lot on one dream, it's a big risk, and the losses are real and you can't get that time and effort back. There's no way to recoup them, if you will. I do have an internship set up with the Spokane Symphony. And I am excited about that. Everyone's under the impression that that's what I really want to do in life. But it's a false image. Something for me to hide behind because it's better than nothing. I mean, I DO want to work with a symphony. I think it would be awesome. Maybe not. I guess I'll find out. But it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. It's a kind of resignation peace. Well, I guess, since I have this degree, that I'd better use it in some way to prove people wrong that my time in the music department was not a complete and utter waste, etc. There are good motivations mixed in with these bad ones. But it's not as simple as it looks is all I'm saying.

And really, it's not supposed to be easy. Everyone struggles with this. Forging meaning out of your existence, it's a daunting task (don't ask me why I'm being so existential right now. I really can't say). In a way I'm sure that God has a good reason for creating me the way I am. But I'm dashed if I can see it.

All I know is that it's time to prepare for another big change in my life. And I think I'm ready, even if I'm a little frightened. I'm going to face it head on. And I'm going to try to make the most of it, however I possibly can. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy this year. I'm going to make sure I spend my time as wisely as possible. I already have a great college experience to look back on. I'm going to make my last year count well.

Awesome Day

Tuesday was pretty amazing. But first I'll back up a bit.

The CA job (which I plan to post more about at the end of the summer) has been an extremely intense experience. Something of a combination of a challenging learning experience, a fun alternative to farm work, and an enormous amount of stress.

Things had been going relatively well in early July, although I was pretty tired and ready for a break. So on the 15th I was very happy to have made it to my week of vacation. I went home and relaxed, read some books etc. It was great. I returned that Sunday refreshed and eager to finish out the summer strong. It was like a blind man walking into a tornado.

Things had NOT been going well the week I was gone. My supervisor, who was already very stressed, had been taking out said stress on the team of CAs. Apparently angry emails were sent, the team was disgruntled, etc. But then the topper came that a group of boys basketball campers had accidentally been locked out of the HUB during their dinner time. Stories vary, but something along the lines of "nobody had been scheduled to run info. desk that day" and "there was a mistake in the Lock/Unlock schedule" seems to have happened. Now, being stupid high school boys, they did not do the common-sensical thing and call one of the phone numbers that we have plastered all over campus. No. They ordered pizza. So while Sodexo was waiting for these 14 players to come and get their dinner, they called a place and payed extra money for a dinner that they had essentially already payed for. Their coach didn't even hear about it until the next day when he asked them how their dinner was, so of course we knew nothing about it. And then our supervisor found out and her already thin-worn patience (actually I'm not sure if there was any left) snapped.

Enter Heidi. I just happened to arrive on the morning after she had found out about this blunder. I was a little mystified when she walked in and didn't even acknowledge my existence. Usually she asks how the weekend was etc. and here I had been gone for a whole week and not even a "good morning." We all sat down in the meeting room and all hell broke loose. Suffice it to say that it was the worst chewing out I've ever received in my entire life and that includes the times when I've been in serious trouble with my parents. I would say that it crossed the line more than a little bit, especially considering many of us had had time off directly preceding that day and could have in no way been involved. I won't go on about what I thought/think of her decision to call a meeting when she was so angry or her lack of self-monitoring when speaking (read: screaming hysterically) at us. She told us that if we didn't think we could handle the job, we should just quit right then, as we all stared on in disbelief. But absolutely nobody was happy and suffice it to say I was kind of wishing I had stayed at home. I was especially sorry for the people who had been working, because they had been working extra hard to "avoid getting yelled at." Not good. Not good at all.

Fast forward a week later. Things calmed down although a general atmosphere of discontent still prevailed. I had the sneaking suspicion that our boss still not-so-secretly resented us. The usual Tuesday meeting was being held, Tuesday being the day when the entire staff is supposed to work. We again looked on in disbelief as our supervisor explained that she had been thinking and decided that today would be a CA Guys' fun day. She procured a $20 bill, told them that they would go downtown for the day, they could do anything (legal) that they wanted and buy whatever they wanted with the money. The only conditions were that they take a memorable picture and that there would be a contest between the guys and girls memorable pictures when the girls had their fun day next week. I was confused. She later confessed that she wanted to let the girls go first, but really wanted to get rid of the guys. Fair enough. They are a little loud at times. That is, they like to play their music in the office at somewhat unprofessional levels and it is a little annoying at times.

So the guys left, the girls stayed for a quiet day and all was well.

And that is what set up my awesome Tuesday. Because the next Tuesday was also the last day that every CA would be working on the same day, due to vacations and things. So it happened to be the day of our "end of year" celebration. It also happened to be the day of our Sodexo luncheon.

Schedule of Events
8:30 a.m. - depart for Greenbluff
9:15 to 11:30ish - Amazing fun times at Greenbluff taking pictures, which can be seen on Facebook.
11:30 - 12:15 - return to campus.
12:15 to 1:3o - visit the guy's houses and take stalkerish pictures in front of them/in their rooms/with their housemates/with their host mom... Look for B-Rob to see if we can get a picture with him and find out he is out of town. Go down to the Little Spokane River and take pictures while nervously eyeing the two men in a truck who were probably smoking marijuana.
1:30 - lunch with Sodexo staff Jim, Jess, and Dan at Twiggs. Their treat. I had the Salmon Briee sandwich. It was most excellent. Dan finished everyone's unfinished food.
3:00ish - head to Northtown to try on pretty dresses, or in my case feel extremely uncomfortable and watch other people try on pretty dresses. Shopping = not my favorite.
4:00 - FedEx Kinko's stop where we print our pictures after finally persuading the lady working their to refill the machines with paper for us. Not the best customer service I've ever seen.
5:00 - Back to Duvall to work on amazing collage that will blow the boys' picture slideshow out of the water.
6:45 - Dress up.
7:15 - Depart for the Melting Pot
8:00 - Try to find the Melting Pot. Pass Morihiko Nakahara on the street. Walk in circles like idiots.
8:15 - Arrive at the Melting Pot. Eat amazing chocolate fondue. Presentation of awards. I received a miniature stick horse for my supposed work ethic and the fact that I am a farm girl. I have named him "My Little Pony Suck-It-Up" so that the next time a conferee asks us to turn on the air-conditioning in Warren we can respond "there is no AC in Warren," and smack them with said pony while saying "suck it up."

All in all it was a pretty awesome day.

My Essential Tales of Father Brown

I've been reading the complete father brown stories courtesy of the awesome Vic Bobb, English professor extraordinaire, generous book-lender, and all-around nice guy. "Forty-nine quietly sensational cases investigated by the high-priest of detective fiction." Here is a list of favorites for my own amusement and perhaps yours too.

From "The Innocence of Father Brown"


The Blue Cross
The Secret Garden
The Queer Feet
The Flying Stars

(These first four are a great introduction to Father Brown, and Flambeua too).

The Sign of the Broken Sword
The Three Tools of Death

From "The Wisdom of Father Brown"

The Head of Caesar
The Purple Wig
The Perishing of the Pendragons
The Salad of Colonel Cray

From "The Incredulity of Father Brown"

The Miracle of Moon Crescent - One of the more metaphysical ones, if C.S. Lewis wrote mysteries, I think they'd be like this.

From "The Secret of Father Brown"

The Chief Mourner or Marne

From "The Scandal of Father Brown"

The Quick One
The Blast of the Book
The Vampire of the Village

And Just Because

A friend of mine recently disclosed that if she could have a composer boyfriend, it would be Franz Schubert. I of course was thinking: you mean the ugly chap with the glasses? Why? But no. She claimed he was actually quite an attractive bloke in his youth. Well, this artist's representation is quite different I'd say.



It all comes back to the unfortunate reality that famous intellectuals are often known by photos of themselves when they are old. Which, there's nothing wrong with being old, but I think it kind of limits are perception of that person. Think of poor C.S. Lewis. Everyone knows him from that picture where he's all bald and fat and smoking in a chair. I mean, there's nothing wrong with any of those things (except the smoking) but he wasn't always that way. Likewise we think of stars like Gregory Peck and Gene Kelly as being perpetually young, because that is when they made their imprint. Thus we set up ideals that do not reflect reality. They didn't stay that good-looking forever. And so the stereotype of all the airheads being attractive and all intelligent members of the human race being ugly. Random post this.

IMDB Allows for Amazing Connections!

So yes, my amazing discoveries continue. While researching Louis Jourdan movies I came across "The Swan," which stars him and Alec Guinness.

Hmmm, that chap looks familiar I thought. Where have I seen him before? The first Pink Panther movie? No. That was David Niven as Sir Charles Litton.

Let's look at his profile. Aha. Drum roll please. How could I not have realized that he played Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars!? Crazy! Let's take a look at what else he's done...

Adolf Hitler in Hitler: The Last Ten Days. Which is supposedly very good.
Yevgraf in Dr. Zhivago. Which is quite good. By one of the best directors ever to have lived: David Lean.
Prince Feisal in Lawrence of Arabia, another David Lean film.
Col. Nicholson in The Bridge on the River Kwai, another David Lean film.
Father Brown in Father Brown. I'm reading these mysteries right now!!!!!
Aaaannndd Fagin in David Lean's adaptation of Oliver Twist.

That's quite the resume! I officially need to see every single one of those films.

Louis Jourdan is my hero

In the world of Hollywood leading men, there isn't much to pick from nowadays. There are a few actors I suppose. Christian Bale, although his character seems to be in question at the moment. Richard Armitage is, of course, not in Hollywood. Brad Pitt and co. frankly don't impress me much. And despite Captain Jack Sparrow's amazingness, Johnny Depp kind of creeps me out.

This is why most of my favorite actors are dead. It's quite unfortunate, but true. Gregory Peck, Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, James Stewart, Laurence Olivier, to name a few, are just awesome. These guys had class. And I keep discovering more. Louis Jourdan may just top the list. Not because I like his work all that much better, but because he seems like such a 100% spiffing guy.

I first discovered him through "Gigi," a cute if somewhat creeperish musical that was the last of Lerner and Loewe's creations. I'm not sure it deserved the Best Picture award it was given, but it's a well-made film with some good actors and a few decent songs. I mean, it's not my favorite, but I happened to pick it up at the library the other day and I realized that the leading man really is a heck of an actor. Aaaannddd possibly quite good looking... But would I be motivated by such shallowness? Certainly not. The point is, I IMDB'd him and discovered he's also a heck of a guy.

As an actor, he mostly starred as what he calls the "Latin lover" roles. But it seems he had potential for a whole lot more. He was the villain in a James Bond movie that I simply must see now. He also starred as Dracula in a BBC series I believe. Apparently he was involved in a production of the Count of Monte Cristo as well. I'm curious about a few of his other "type-cast" features, and am really anxious now to see Hitchcock's "The Paradine Case," which features both him and Gregory Peck!!! Whom he also professes to have been extremely close with.

His minibio on IMDB is really what wowed me though. "Born Louis Gendre, he was educated in France, Britain, and Turkey." "During World War II, after his father was arrested by the Gestapo, Louis and his two brothers joined the French underground; his film career came to a halt when he refused to act in Nazi propaganda films." Oh, and he is still married to his wife of 60+ years. Wow.

Coolest thing ever though. I chanced a look on the IMDB forums and... he's there! Chatting it up with fans from his home in the south of France at the age of 89! Of course, it could just be an impersonator. Some weird sap who derives pleasure out of deceiving simple-minded mucks like myself. But... I think it really is him. I choose to believe it. And how cool is that? So, as he apparently listens to classical music, I asked him who his favorite composer was, for lack of anything better to ask. It's there for all to see if you're interested in observing me as a star-struck idiot. I'd rather you didn't though. I do feel slightly silly at how excited I am over this, but at the same time... I don't get to converse with my favorite actors very often.

Weather or Not

Freakish. That is the one word I have to describe Spokane's current weather pattern. This morning I awoke to "partly cloudy, 50 degrees." This quickly changed to "overcast, 60 degrees." Then, after dinner or so the skies cleared and the sun shone brightly. My friend Amy and I took a leisurely walk up to my future house. It was beautiful! We found Katie there (long story short, we found another roommate for the summer) and she was delighted to see us. So we chatted for a bit and then we noticed thunder. We decided it was time to go and the weather really turned sour. After strong gusts of wind, there was a torrential downpour. Katie decided she would drive us back. It was crazy! We ran as fast as we could into Duvall and were still soaked. Now it has stopped. It snowed on the South Hill yesterday. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

*Note: As we drove through campus in the pouring rain, we noticed that, true to form, the sprinklers were on.

Funny story, I accidentally worked until 6:00 today. I was checking room inventories in Ballard and had no clock. Apparently I was being much more thorough than everybody else because they had finished dinner by the time I got back. I felt pretty dumb, but it's pretty funny regardless. The worst of it is, I'm paid on a stipend, so I don't get any extra money for working late. :-( Oh well. That's life.

I played for my high school's graduation last Saturday. I was really nervous because I didn't manage to get the sheet music until the night before. I did it though. It wasn't perfect, but it didn't suck either. My sight reading is improving! It was strange to be back there and think about the fact that my high school graduation was 3 years ago. The kids graduating were freshmen when I was a senior. I was seeing some of them for the first time in 3 years! It was so weird! And yet, it wasn't as weird as I was expecting. I wasn't really that attached to my high school. I never felt like I really fit there. It wasn't anything like Whitworth. I was generally trying to be somewhere else. If anything the weird part about going back was that it had no terror for me anymore. I didn't have stay there, I didn't have to talk with anyone I didn't want to, I didn't have to do busy work, I wasn't trapped inside those walls for another 5 hours. It was a good feeling.

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Now playing: Oscar Peterson - Lulu's Back in Town

Yet Another Nickname

But first... The job is going smoothly after the overwhelming first day. Of course, we haven't actually had any conferences yet, so we're all a little nervous. But we've been preparing for them, which keeps us busy enough. It's so weird to have such a nice work environment. There are no grease stains. And there's carpet on the floor. It's amazing! The work I've been doing hasn't been super interesting, but it's easy enough. Mostly I've been helping with key inventory, making sure they all work and putting lanyards on them and clips on key cards. It's not very stimulating, but it's definitely not hard.

I've been waiting for the feelings of isolation to set in with practically everyone but the 10 of us gone from campus, but honestly I've been too busy. It is weird to go back to my room and have it be empty. I almost feel guilty about having so much time to myself. But I've been inundated with calls and emails from friends staying in Spokane who want to hang out and have lunch and so forth, which makes me feel loved, which is always good.

This weekend was fun. I don't really remember what I did Friday. Saturday I went and saw CYT's Beauty and the Beast. Karen was in the orchestra and we hung out for a bit beforehand. I saw 4 Whitworth people (Lee Moser was in the mall, so was Keith Wyma and his family, Kelsey Something was playing oboe in the orchestra, and Lucas Beechnor's mom was at the show). The actual show was pretty awesome. I can honestly say it beat Couer d'Alene Summer Theatre's production of a couple years ago, which wouldn't be hard to do but says something considering those actors were mostly professionals. I was amazed that they found 2 high school guys who could sing, and really well. Both the Beast and Gaston were phenomenal, Gaston especially. It was slightly bittersweet because it reminded me of CYT's last Beauty and the Beast, which I helped with sound for. That was when I was 16! It felt so old then and feels so young now. I know I was 16 because I could drive myself to the rehearsals. That's almost 5 years ago now. The kids up there all look so young. It made me feel old. But it was a really good production and made me wish I could go back and do CYT again. I was so much more insecure then, it was probably a good experience for that reason.

Sunday I went to St. Luke's 8:30 service to hear Amy play (that's dedication friends). And accomplished practically nothing else the rest of the day. I did find the 1982 version of the Scarlet Pimpernel on tudou.com, the Chinese YouTube. :-) It stars Ian McKellan as Chauvelin and Anthony Andrews as the Pimpernel and features amazingly huge hair. It wasn't too bad though. Anthony Andrews' lips kind of freaked me out... But Ian McKellan rocked! Oh, and it also has the girl who was in Somewhere in Time as Marguerite with the biggest hair ever! (thought Katrina might be interested to know).

Now we're back to the workweek. After a morning of "meet & greets" (where we met a guy who used the words "tarnation" and "crumb soup"), I directed traffic for a jr. high track meet. I got to wear a bright orange vest and show people where the crosswalk. And I got a codename, because we had walkie-talkies. So, here is updated list of nicknames (hopefully in the order received).

The Swede
Toast
Sheidino
Sexy Hips
Holla Polychord
Mendelssohn

Wow, I'm missing at least 3. Gosh I can't even remember what they are. I'm not counting Milk Maiden, or Swedish Dumpling, or Furry Pumpkin. Don't even ask me. Mendelssohn I had some say in. It's not referring to Felix, it's referring to Fanny, his sister. But I'm the only one on the team who knows that. I didn't really want to be called Fanny. So me, Mike Essien, Scooby Snacks, Papa Bear, and Lucky Charms directed traffic. After work I had the best intentions of practicing, but ended up watching 2 episodes of Arrested Development and playing cards with the crew. *sigh* Tomorrow I will be good. Gosh I wish I could remember the rest of those nicknames. It's ridiculous.