A Shining Ray of Hope

It's amazing how much a small gesture can make a difference. I was once again dreading Jazz Ensemble today. I wondered just how much I would embarrass myself this time, etc.

The rehearsal wasn't too awful. I got told again that I need to dig in more, but that's nothing new. Afterwards though, Dr. Keberle asked me if "I was okay," and whether or not he was "yelling" at me too much. Well that's kind of awkward. But at the same time it kind of broke the ice for me. I was able to come out and say "no! I WANT to improve and I need feedback to do that!" And just being able to communicate that was really helpful for me for some reason. I no longer have to take his criticisms personally and hopefully he no longer has to worry about damaging my fragile female psyche. *rolls eyes* So hopefully I will no longer have feel sick three days out of the week. At the same time I'm wondering "Am I really that transparent?" Maybe it was the abject terror in my eyes every time I walked into the band room.

Oh dear. So another example of Heidi being silly and feeling stupid. But, er, in a positive way.