FREEDOM!

IT'S OVER!!!! Woohoo! *dances*

It's That Time of Year...

When world just won't stop
Every prof you hear, seems to say
"Here's a 10-page final
I hope you make it through..."

Ah yes, finals week. I'm actually half done. It's been crazy but Writing for Mass Media, German, Computer Sci, and Ear Training are all over with. I just need to get through two piano juries and my gargantuan music theory final tomorrow and I'm home free. Ah piano juries. Last year I played "How High the Moon." Since I just was listening to some Ella Fitzgerald I thought I'd let you listen to it. Somewhere there's music...

This one was my favorite

When did you last set aside time to pray? Sure, small groups and Bible studies abound on the X campus, but many still find that making time for their faith is difficult.

“The minute I sit down to spend some time [with God] the distractions keep coming,” said Courtney X, a theology major in her senior year. She mentioned classes and lack of sleep as the main obstacles in setting aside time for her faith. Courtney said making time for prayer is something she’s been more successful at this semester than in any other semester in her college career, but noted that she’s still busy. She’s simply made it a priority. “If I find myself really getting distracted, I’ll do something else for a while so I can focus later,” she said, adding that sometimes physical activity helps keep her alert.

Keith X, professor of theology, advised looking to Jesus as the model of how to properly spend time with God. “He did it by himself and pulled his disciples away for it as well. We are made to have a break from constant activity.”

Chaplain Terry X agrees. “Sabbath is really important,” he said, defining “sabbath” not as Sunday, but as an extended block of time used to break the rhythm of life for rest and worship. Terry believes that our fast-paced culture does nothing to encourage sabbath and commented that he hasn’t found many students at X who practice taking a regular time of rest.

However, both Terry and Keith were quick to note that “quiet time” is by no means the only way to connect with God. “For centuries it was the practice of Christians to gather regularly morning and evening to pray together.” That’s been lost, Terry said, partly because our society is so focused on the individual.

“The totality of one’s life is devotion to God,” said Keith, explaining how people can miss the point when it comes to “devotions.” “I don’t think prayer and scripture are the only avenues of worship. The effort you put into your coursework is worshipping God.” Keith stressed that being a good steward is part of worship.

But what should a student do when in need of a Sabbath? How can someone make time for a break when busy being a good steward in academics?

“It’s a time-management issue,” said Keith, who recommends keeping a log of how you spend your time. “I think people would find it very interesting,” he said, noting that many of us waste time on pointless activities.

For those who have trouble finding a place to get away to, some imagination may be needed. Courtney cites the dorm basement and laundry room as good places to go when it’s too cold to venture into the Back 40. X has no full-time prayer chapel, largely due to space limitations. However, there are now prayer meetings at noon in the Chapel on Wednesdays. People can come with prayer requests, or pray for requests that have been submitted via the college’s website.

Another unique option is a visit to the Open Door theme house located at X. The residents of the Open Door have created an off campus prayer chapel. Mary Trotter, one of the Open Door’s residents, said she felt a place for prayer was needed through her experience with dorm life as an underclassman.

“Personal and soul health is as important as your grades,” Trotter said.

Website article

Here's article number 2. This was more of the rough draft.

It’s not an evaluation any college professor would welcome: “Houston, we have a problem. Space cadet of a teacher isn't quite attached to earth.” So claims one user of the website www.ratemyprofessors.com.

Advertised as a resource for choosing professors, the website has also developed a reputation as a haven for angry college students.

“Some of [the reviews] are just brutal,” said Forrest X, professor of philosophy. Forrest has been at X College for 28 years and has been reviewed 30 times on the website. While most of his reviews are positive, he’s right in saying that other professors haven’t been so lucky. “Not only is the book a better teacher, it also has a better personality,” quips one reviewer.

Diana X, chair of the Faculty Promotion and Tenure committee, believes that it’s unnecessary professors to visit the site at all. Diana thinks the site has value as an outlet for frustrated students, but she doesn’t feel a need to concern herself with it.

RateMyProfessors.com hosts anonymous reviews of professors at various colleges. It is currently open to more than 6,000 colleges and universities and lists more than 770,000 professors.

Ratings are based on a five-point scale, evaluating clarity, helpfulness, easiness, and overall quality – the average of the clarity and helpfulness scores. If a professor scores well, a yellow smiley face is displayed beside his or her name. If scores are mediocre, the face is green and unsmiling. If scores are poor, the professor receives a blue frowning face. There’s even a little chili-pepper icon displayed if a professor is considered “hot.”

Despite its attempts at providing an objective rating system, ratemyprofessor.com has a few pitfalls.

“It’s completely unscientific,” said Forrest, noting that part of the problem is that there’s no way to tell who wrote a review. Someone could easily review the same professor multiple times or never have taken the class or even not go to the school. Even the website’s owners admit that the ratings aren’t “statistically accurate” but are quick to add, “we often receive emails stating that the ratings are uncannily accurate, especially for schools with over 1,000 ratings.”

Kristin X, a freshman, said that even if not used as a resource, the site has entertainment value. Kristin hasn’t noticed many vicious reviews. “People are generally pretty nice,” she said.

Student Trevor X says he’s used the website “pretty extensively” to research professors. “Taken with a grain of salt, you can get a good feel for what to expect.” Trevor said he would recommend the site as a student resource, but cautioned that he is careful to take reviews on a case-by-case basis and that he wouldn’t swear by it. “It’s a way for students to have a voice. Like any tool, it can be misused.”

Squirrel Article

So I've decided to post the articles I wrote for my Writing for Mass Media class this semester. Just because I need a break. My college will be replaced with an X of course, because I'm paranoid. I didn't have enough space for this one and it could onl

They may be cute, but X’s squirrels also have a dark side.

“I have found them to be somewhat messy little beasts,” arborist William X said. “When you see clumps of pine needles laying on the grounds, the squirrels are usually the culprits. They also like to raid the trashcans for food and fun. William has even had sinister encounters with the little “varmints” as he calls them. “I have had squirrels try to attack me.”

Squirrels can even cause costly damage. “In Ballard on the third floor a squirrel managed to eat through the window frame. This squirrel cost about $500 in damage,” said Dick X, supervisor of Maintenance and Repairs.

Squirrel-related incidents are nothing new at X. An event with sinister connotations is recorded in the Newspaper’s 1999 October issue. “Did you know about the squirrel who chewed through The phone line? We think it was the first step in their evil plot for a hostile takeover.”

This squirrel paranoia continues today, with even a Facebook group devoted to the subject. Rebecca X created the group “Evil Satan Possessed Squirrel Who Thinks He Owns the World” in response to a territorial squirrel that lived on her balcony last year.

“This squirrel would hiss at us when we went out on the balcony,” said Rebecca. “He would also go to this tree right off the balcony and hide there until we were close enough; then he would scare us.”The room’s residents were so unnerved they became uncomfortable doing homework because the squirrel was watching them. “Really we have no idea what was wrong with this creature.:

A couple things

I messed up while putting in that Caedmon's Call song, so that's why the title's weird. I've also changed my settings so that anyone can comment. I didn't realize I had "only members of this blog" selected. So now you can post Karen!

I've Got to Get Out of Here

So it's the week before finals. Traditionally this would be called "dead week" but my college has no such thing. I don't mind that so much. I think I can make it, but then, I'm not a physics major. But I am going crazy.

I've been chafing to go home for a while now, and it gets worse every day. It really started to get bad when I took Katie to Rite Aid the other day so she could get her perscription. I decided I hate Rite Aid, and it was an all-too oppressive reminder of the quagmire of commercialism that is the city. Don't get me wrong, cities are great and I love college. But when you've been raised in the country, or even if you haven't I think, your soul (I'll be romantic here) wants out so to speak. You want the wild, and space to breathe, and natural God-created beauty not confined by works of man. That's close to impossible to find these days, and I often wonder what the stretches of farmland I'm so used to looked like as recently as 150 years ago. It was vastly different.

But the fields are still nature, even if they are harnessed by man. And the space and majesty of those rolling hills still exist and are green in the spring, golden in summer, and white with snow in winter. But all around me is grey, and people (EVERYWHERE PEOPLE) and the snow has by now been trampled by the hundreds of passers-by into a brown tarnish. And so I lay in my room staring at my homework while wanting to drive out of this small city and see the stars clearly again. I can't focus. I think of the long walks I used to take with my dog at my heels and nobody in sight and no sounds from the nearby highway. They were lonely walks, it is true. There was seldom anyone to share them with. But I figured being alone isn't always a bad thing and it's wasn't something I would always have, and I was right. Now there are people (friends, strangers, acquaintences) everywhere I turn.

Beyond that, I simply need to get out of my dorm room, to the library or the cafeteria, so I can focus and study. I feel like I'm at the top of a staircase, and I could just walk down it, systematically applying all I've learned to a final burst of studying and effort. However I seem to be waiting for someone to kick me. I don't know why I'm so poetic all of a sudden. It just happens to me sometimes.

College culture is also getting old. There's always controversy and ideas and arguments and discussions, which is great. But it wears on you after a while. I can't keep up with these attacks on the way I think and who I am and these questions that people are always asking. And everyone seems determined to find something wrong with everything and everybody. We're not diverse enough, we're not tolerant enough, we're not happy enough (the college newspaper this week is a good example of this, but maybe that's just the college newspaper being dumb as usual. For example, the editorial was complaining about how students here score low on some critical thinking test. Excuse me? What? Don't even get me started on the homosexuality article...)

*Interruption* my roommate just walked in informing me that, even though she was required to go to the jazz band II/concert band II performance she only stayed for a couple of songs because she can't miss "Gilmore Girls." GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!

I need to go home to my family. Sometimes I think my greatest advantage in life is having a family I know loves me no matter what else gets turned upside down. "Oh ye of little faith," God reminds me. Without God, I have nothing. Without Christ, I am nothing. Without Him I will never be able to face the world. I can't run home every time I feel lost or in over my head as it were. If everyone did that, no one would ever accomplish anything. Rest is good and necessary. Family is good and necessary. But I must face these struggles, all the demands, and all the abrasiveness even a Christian college brings, but not alone. Whatever I face here will only be who knows how much worse when I am propelled into the so called "real" world (as though this one is fake!) with a diploma and good wishes. And Christ. I'm fairly confident those reading this blog will understand. To those that don't, who roll there eyes and chuckle at what they perceive my naivety, I wouldn't know what to say. I wish they did understand.

So I am off I think. First to the cafeteria for some German vocabulary and coffee (I wish it was German coffee), then to the music building to tackle what I can of "Blue Monk" and "A Child is Born." I always seem to end up at the music building. If only I would go there sooner I wouldn't have to spend my evenings alone in a practice room. But sometimes being alone in a practice room is kind of nice.

Lead of Love - Caedmon's Call
Looking back at the road so far
The journey's left its share of scars
Mostly from leaving the narrow and straight

Looking back it is clear to me
That a man is more than the sum of his deeds
And how You've made good of this mess I've made
Is a profound mystery

Looking back You know You had to bring me through
All that I was so afraid of
Though I questioned the sky, now I see why
Had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view
Looking back I see the lead of love

Looking back I can finally see (I'd rather have wisdom)
How failures bring humility (than be)
Brings me to my knees (a comfortable fool)
Helps me see my need for Thee

Dear Manninos

I would write a blog entry about the Manninos. But they're one of the few people who actually read my blog (apparently they haven't read the comments under the title) and it's very rude to talk about someone in the third person when they're listening to you. It's just weird to talk about yourself in the third person. I had a substitute teacher who did that once... That was one of the stranger class days. Ah, highschool. Anyhow, back to the Manninos. Since I can't write a blog about them I'll write them a letter.

Dear Manninos (Mr. and Mrs. Mannino specifically),

Thank you so much for welcoming me into your home (invited or not) and feeding me. It's so nice to get off campus and have something other than cafeteria food. The cafeteria really isn't as bad as it's made out to be but it does kind of get old after a while. So whether you're having sandwiches or spaghettie or garlic sprinkled on a plate I'm happy.

And I really enjoy being around your family with all the noisiness and the commotion. :-) It's nice to be around a family after you've been at college a while. Or even when you haven't. I sincerely enjoy the warmth and all the activity at your house. So thank you Manninos. I enjoy your company and thank you for your hospitality.

With that little note I bid everyone a wonderful advent season and hope you enjoy my new musical selection, "Galician Carol" from "Windham Hill Celtic Christmas." I think. Listen for the sproingy sound at the end. It would ruin an otherwise delightful celtic ditty if it didn't make me laugh so hard.

November

The sky is drooling on us. It splutters in indecision, dribbling down rain one moment before spitting snow the next. The result is an unattractive squelchy mess I must slog through in my car. But the fact that it's trying to snow at all is encouraging. I love snow!

Thanksgiving was kind of... meh. It was just my parents and me so we went to the Davenport. The Davenport is great with its plush surroundings and otherworldlyness. It's like stepping into a different century. But it can't compete with home-cooking and a room full of relatives. Next year my Brother and Jenny will come and so will the Blegen clan, three excited and demanding children in tow. But this year it was just Mom and Dad and me, which was nice, but it wasn't Thanksgiving.
Now I am back from break and must grit my teeth as I plow through the next three weeks. It's not really that demanding. It's not. And yet the thought of juries and finals and projects all rushing up at once (not to mention my GPA being altered once again) makes me want to run away.

It was so nice being home all week, having a cat curled up in my lap and a dog at my feet and my parents pottering around the house. I can't wait for this semester to be over. Then my sister will come home and there will be Christmas choir and caroling and getting a tree and all that. And I'll be able to practice without dreading my teacher breathing down my neck the next week.

But for now I must trudge off to the music building and pray that my lesson goes well and that juries won't be too demanding and that I'll pass Ear Training and that my group will finish our project for CS-110 on time and that I'll get my article and my extra credit paper and my three papers for piano and everything else done. Whew. It's all little things. It's not that demanding. But it certainly adds up to a lot of headaches, as though I'm just finishing out the busy work that I need to complete before leaving.

I'd better go to the music building and practice now.

The Coolest Thing Ever to happen to this Blog

Look at the top of the blog. There is a little playlist thingummy. Click the play arrow. I dare you.

Have you clicked it yet? ISN'T IT THE COOLEST!?? That's not really a question. I discovered this really cool radio blog site where you can embed just about any song you search for into your page! Since I've been on a Scarlet Pimpernel kick recently I naturally went for The Riddle. Anyhow, expect me to provide regular musical samplings as I'm really extremely excited about this. I HAVE MUSIC ON MY BLOG! YAY! You can adjust the volume with that non-descript brown bar next to the question mark.

So here are the lyrics to this song, before I waltz off to the lovely lilting melody of this song.

See the moon slink down in the sky, darling

Let your fantasies fly, darling
Life is cold, and the game is old.
Just see how virtue repays you
You turn and someone betrays you
Betray him first, and the game's reversed

For we all are caught in the middle
Of one long treacherous riddle
Can I trust you?
Should you trust me to?
We shamble on through this hell
Taking on more secrets to sell
'Til there comes a day
When we sell our souls away

Through the mist your lover is beckoning
Comes that moment of reckoning
Faces change, even smiles grow strange
And we all have so many faces
The real self often erases
Enticing lies, flicker through our eyes

Feel the terror draw ever nearer
The more you stare in the mirror
But hold your own
Face the wind alone
Reel on love, toughen your scars
Year by year we're falling like stars
'Til there comes a day
When we sell our souls away

Can I run to you? Are you true to me?
I'll do unto you as you do to me!
And we slowly learn someone has to burn
Better you than me

Every Judas once loved a Jesus
But finally treason will sieze us
And only fools follow golden rules

We all are caught in the middle
Of one long, treacherous riddle
Of who trusts who
Maybe I'll trust you
But can you trust me?
Wait and see

A Special Day

Today is the first day I have ever been made money by being a musician.

YouTube is Amazing

So, I'm generally not an advocate of bootleg materials. That's probably not the best way to start off this post. Let's just say that 1. There are a number of original videos on YouTube that are very worth watching. For instance, I found a "Sherlock Holmes mystery" that was written by and filmed by a bunch of kids. If you can get over the number of deaths, it's really quite cute.

That said there are some things on there that probably shouldn't be on there. I'm kind of a stickler about illegal downloading and such. Sure, if I buy a classical CD Beethoven's not going to get a cut, but I want the stores to stock these things and I want people in the music business to be able to make a living for obvious reasons. So I generally either buy it or live with out it with a few exceptions (if it's not available in the US for instance). The only reason I have a bunch of Katrina's music on my iTunes right now is because it's easier than walking across the room to borrow her CDs. I will delete it all at the end of the year. See how legalistic I am about this?

However, I would like to thank all the people who have smuggled cameras into broadway productions. I spent a good portion of Saturday perusing videos from various productions of musicals I have mentioned before on this blog. Yep, I'm a dork. But it was amazing! I mean, the original actors are never going to perform these rolls again, I'm never going to have a chance to see it, so why not, eh?

"Do Not Be Afraid."

So, this is a random realization I've been meaning to post for some time. Last year in psychology I was taught that the most common human motivator is fear. Makes sense when you think about it. You can strip down even some of the most complex human emotions to some sort of fear.

The interesting thing is that in Great Themes of the Bible I was taught that Christ's most frequent command is "do not be afraid."

Musicals are fun

I'm obsessed with the Scarlet Pimpernel right now. I don't find the music to be absolutely stunning, but there's a couple of really good songs I enjoy. Credit Katrina with introducing me to it, along with Jekyll & Hyde. So here's some cool pictures I found online. They will have to do since I cannot see it. This first one is of Terrence Mann and Christina Andreas. I love the Chauvelin costume! Terrence Mann is an amazing talent, I love his voice (he was the Beast in the broadway Beauty and the Beast too). There are very few things about him on the web, but I think he's amazing. And he has really nifty boots. And a sash.







This is Douglas Sills in a hilariously funny song. He's also quite an interesting talent. That should be Douglas and Terrence below, but it's a different production. Spiffy shot though















And here's the original trio again. I love the smile on Terrence Mann's face. All in all, if you can pick up the album I'd recommend it. The book's definitely on my list to read.

Your wildest dreams will come true...

A few years ago, when I visited DC with my brother, we got to talking about the US (hmm, wonder why) and its origins etc. We eventually concluded that if any of the founding fathers could see it today, they'd be appalled. I don't mean this as a completely anti-American statement, but I don't mean it positively either.

What brings this on? First and foremost, a desire to get out of the "so this is what happened to me today" format my blog has been taking of late. So, here goes. It's an election year! Yay! I have the wonderful opportunity to exercise my right to vote. Great.

Don't get me wrong. I really do appreciate the freedoms we have in a democracy, er, republic like the USA. Sure, it's an imperfect system, as I'm about to rant about, but it's better than a lot of alternatives. A lot of people would die, and have died, for this kind of freedom. Government for the people. No more absolute monarchs as Strauch would say. Government serves the people, not the other way around. If only that counted for my reading response.

So what I'm trying to say is I take my responsibility as a United States citizen very seriously. A democracy can't function if its citizens don't participate. Sure, I have the freedom not to vote, but that goes against my responsibility.

With that said, what a mess! I've decided to be "open-minded" (or indecisive, or delusional, whatever you call it) and not affiliate myself with any particular party. I figure this is how it's supposed to work. Independently making decisions is a good thing, that's the point isn't it? Yet it's awfully tempting at this point to just tack a label to myself and follow the talking heads. I mean, it's ridiculous how difficult it is to get past all the screaming and finger-pointing and political mumbo-jumbo that makes me so detest necessary politics in the first place. Each side tries to demonize the other's point of view, which is ridiculous and childish and hopefully no one really falls for it. Sure, I don't agree with some things and even feel very strongly about the morality of certain issues, but I also understand that the other side feels just as strongly the opposite way.

Where it gets difficult is when you're trying to vote for the best possible option and trying to guage each side of the argument. Each side has valid points, obviously, but trying to get beyond that into actual logistics of anything is almost impossible. I thought it would take me a lot of time to catch up on all the issues and opinions flying around but I realized after half an hour or so perusing things that it's just the same rhetoric over and over again. And that doesn't really help someone trying to make an informed decision. It becomes simple point of view, which makes some sense because you still get a good majority decision that way and at least if we get messed up we're all in it together, but this point of view thing was what I was trying to avoid in the first place. I'm terribly naive. I don't deny it. It's not all bad.

Anyhow, there's a point when you just want to throw up your hands and give up. Excluding the option of become a poli-sci and economics double major I will never be able to fully understand the ins and outs of many of the policies on the ballot. "But the point is to have your voice heard." Yeah, well, I don't have much of a voice as of now being the ripe old age of 19. Do something about the cost of education. That's really the only issue I have any kind of experience with. Oh dear.

I Don't Even Know

Things have kind of been a rollercoaster as of late. When I last posted I just finished with one of the worst days I've ever had. It was the Saturday I was going to go horseback riding but ended up going to the teacher's workshop instead. I was up late that night so instead of going to the morning session I planned on the afternoon one. Well, I had some extra time before I needed to go to breakfast/lunch so I checked my email and homework on blackboard, only to find that I had missed an entire test. That's right. It was for my stupid night class and we had to take it online by Thursday and I had completely forgotten. I was devastated, I thought I was going to have to drop the class. I'm kind of a dork when it comes to grades and things so I was extremely upset and to be honest, if it hadn't been for Katie I wouldn't have made it to the workshop on time. I had to skip breakfast because I had been babyishly crying my eyes out in self-loathing. So it's 1:30 and I'm feeling sick because I haven't eaten anything and I forgot about that test and everything and I have to sit through this workshop. My piano teacher sat next to me. They had some muffins and fruit and cookies and things during the break and I tried not to be a total pig. I finally ended up leaving early because I just felt awful.

I had to endure the torture all weekend because my prof was out of town until late Monday. Finally I got to talk to her and found out that at least I wasn't the only one. I also sat down and did some math and I think my grade in that class is salvagable. So things were better than I'd hoped.

Then, the completely unexpected happened and I got some piano students! It's the pair I really wanted to teach. Their schedules didn't work with the other teacher's. I'm a little concerned because it's so late in the year, but I'm mostly excited. I'm in the process of choosing materials for them and it's quite fun. So that was really good news. But just when I was feeling really good about piano and all that...

I had the most terrible lesson. I had missed the last lesson through sheer business and was a bit late to this one, but confident that I had progressed. I'd been confident to give it a try in lab and, while it hadn't been perfect I thought it was okay for a first attempt. I thought my teacher would think highly of the fact that I'd done that so early. Nope. She was absolutely furious. I've never seen her so angry. It's as though she felt I'd tarnished her teaching reputation by playing when she felt I wasn't "prepared." I'd heard Judith's students play before they were "performance ready" a lot of times so I figured it would be okay. But no, she couldn't believe I hadn't checked with her (which I had, in my email to her) and through the rest of the lesson I could do nothing right. And it was then that I realized, she doesn't think I can do it.

It's the only explanation I can think of. She treats me like an afterthought. She feels obligated to explain the most elementary musical concepts to me. Half of me wants to believe her and just give up. Yes, I'm not as advanced as most of the other piano students. I never took from a high-profile studio or even from a well-established teacher. I took from a kind lady who knew a lot, believed in me, pushed me hard and was closer than an hour away from my house. But there are holes in my education. Big ones. And slowly I've been working to fill them. But maybe I haven't made any progress at all. Maybe I am just a big waste of time. Maybe I should just stop trying. That's the message I seem to get. The other half of me is just angry. Angry at myself for not working harder and angry at her for not having any faith in my abilities.

I don't know if she thinks I'm incapable, or if she just questions my work ethic, I doubt it's intentional but it definitely has been undermining my confidence, even moreso now that I've identified it. I remember when I told her I was a music major... She gave me this look and asked me if I was taking theory and ear training and whether or not I was doing okay in those classes. It was as though I'd shocked her. It's not as though I haven't questioned my decision to be a music major enough. I don't need this. Not when everyone I talk to asks me "what are you going to do with that?" and I can only smile politely and shrug. Not when I already agonize over how I'm ever going to pay off all my student loans. I hate loving music, and wanting to excel at it, and wanting to stay involved in it, and knowing that I most-likely won't be able to. It stinks. But however little I accomplish, this is one thing I have to pursue while I still have the chance. It's insane.

I don't dare tell her I'm teaching. I felt guilty looking over my students' old materials today. I kept thinking "I shouldn't be teaching you. I'm just going to mess you up." Somehow I've got to work up the courage to talk to Judith. Doubtless she'll be angry with me for taking on students this late in the year (what else could I do?) and doubtless she'll question every allowing me to teach after what apparently was my dismal attempt to play in lab.

That's enough of wallowing in my selfish misery. I'm going to go to bed now. Thanks for playing.

I really like this painting

So, thing's aren't so good right now. Hopefully they will get better. I'm not going to go into all that at the moment. I just thought I'd post this. We were analyzing art in preparation for my Europe trip and this is one of the paintings Dr. Strauch showed us.

Kasper David Friedrich, Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog

c.1818, Oil on canvas, 94 x 74.8 cm

Kunsthalle, Hamburg.

Maybe I liked it so well because I just finished reading Kidnapped.

"For all our hurry, day began to come in while we were still far from any shelter. It found us in a prodigious valley, strewn with rocks and where ran a foaming river. Wild mountains stood around it; there grew there neither grass nor trees." ~Kidnapped, by Robert Louis Stevenson

Harvest!

So I've been meaning to do this for a really long time. I was telling Katrina all of my harvest stories and I decided I'd better write them down to share with you all.

This past summer I drove swather and combine for an old family friend. As a farm girl, you'd imagine I'd know all about farming, but I never really got into the harvest part of it because it's really pretty boring and money wasn't a concern for me before my Dad quit. So I had some experience driving farm equipment, but not much. I'd worked the past 2 summers at the grain elevator and I just couldn't take it anymore, but you make more money working those long harvest hours so I thought I'd agree to driving combine for a change of pace. My Dad had worked for Chris for a while while between jobs so I had no problem getting a job with him (he's usually short-handed anyways).

Work started in late June with swathing. Chris is a grass farmer, one of the ones people on the news complain about all the time because he has to burn his crop stubble in order to make a profit. If I sound a little bitter, I am. It's not that I don't understand where these people are coming from, health problems are legitimate. At the same time people make it sound like field burning is just a luxury that allows a farmer to make more money. No. It allows a profit. Period. Wheat prices are the same as they were 20 years ago. Think you can make money selling lentils? Or even barley? Generally no,unless you have one of those hyper-mega farms, maybe then. Not that I'd call Chris' farm small. It's tough is what I'm trying to say, and since you can't make a profit feeding the world you do it growing golf courses. And you've got to understand that farming is more than an occupation. It's a way of life. It's something families do for generations. There is some sort of connection to that lifestyle. It's tough when a farmer is forced to quit. Especially when it's been in the family so long. My Dad was happy to quit and find an office job. Farming is tough. He likes having insurance and benefits and vacation time. He doesn't miss the stress of farming at all. And it was still tough. I could tell.

But enough of that. A lot of people get confused about grass harvest. It's not grass you harvest, it's the seed. You can then sell that seed to golf courses or people who want a front lawn or something via some provider. That's my understanding of it. In order for this to work, you have to cut, or swath, the grass at the right time and then let it cure in the sun for a while before harvesting it. And that's what I was doing in June and early July.

I don't have a picture of one, but swathers are quite a bit smaller than combines and way more meneuverable. I could hop on one and drive it around with no problem now, but it really was difficult to learn.

Aunt Janey

I went to the Symphony's opening night (guess who else tagged along... Actually I think it was Katrina's idea) which was fun. Khachaturian piano concerto. We went to the little "reception" they have afterwards because we ran into Laura's (yes the Laura who got married) parents. Her dad plays french horn. Anyhow, it was crazy because a lot of my profs are in the Symphony. Strauch (who's leading my Europe trip), and Rick Westrick (whom I met at Laura's wedding and who was as enthusiastic about my piano playing as ever :-D), and Dr. Phil. That's not really the point though. The point is I found out there was going to be a benefit concert for the Ayer-Blegen endowed chair.

Jane Blegen was my aunt. She was married to my Mom's brother and definitely a very important force in my life. Her mother was Evelyn Ayer, who I also got to see on holidays and the like. Both of them played with the Symphony as second-violinists.

I have to postcards from "aunt Janey" on the door of my room at college right now. I discovered them when looking through the various mathoms we keep around the house. The back of one says "Dear Heidi: Thank you for all the nice pictures you mailed me! They are all over my refrigerator door & they look so nice! Hope you had fun dancing tonite! Love, Aunt Janey." There's a painting of a man playing violin and a girl dancing ballet on the front. The other says "Dear Heidi, Thank you for your pictures - They are on my refrigerator now & I think of you each day: Love, Aunt Janey XXOO. P.S. This card is for you to keep. It is a print of a famous painting! P.S. Would you like to go to Sym-funnies? (I already found out you cannot this time - maybe later in Feb?!)" They make me smile every time I see them.

And I remember going to those Sym-funnies concerts. I was probably a little ancy like any other little kid, but I remember loving them! I remember they had the "instrument petting zoo" where you got to try out all these different instruments and when I was 11 I felt so proud that I could play the trumpet a little because I'd just started band. Aunt Janey is the person who introduced me to Pink Martini, and who invited me to the jazz violin concert with Johnny Frigo (which I loved, although I can't remember who played before him but that other guy was my favorite). She had offered to teach me violin but by then I was already taking piano and not really inspired by the violin because my siblings didn't play it. Now I wish I could have, but I'm a pianist and that's how it goes, I can't imagine not being a pianist.

More than introducing me to music in many ways, I associate her with the holidays, like Christmas and Thanksgiving. We would always go over to Aunt Janey and Uncle Brad's every Christmas and see all the Blegens. She was always the last to sit down because she was running around getting the butter or the salt or whatever had been forgotten. Her brother Larry would get so exasperated. "Jane, sit down and eat!" he would say, and we would all look at her untouched plate of food on the table and wonder how cold it was by now.

By the time I was old enough to really know her she already had skin cancer, so I don't remember when she was diagnosed, I just remember that she had it. She got it treated and it never seemed too serious, to me anyways, I never noticed anything wrong. But one year something went wrong, they didn't catch a growth or something and it went deeper. She told us at Christmas, I think the last time we had Christmas at her and Uncle Brad's house. The last memory I have of her, before she got really sick that is, is at an outdoor restuarant at a local park. She gave me a CD of The Four Seasons and I'm so glad that I'll always be able to associate my loving, vibrant aunt with that piece of music.

As you can probably guess, she did pass away; she died, if you prefer not to use euphemisms. She was such a large part of the family, it was strange to go to my cousin's for Christmas instead, and I think the thing I miss most is Larry yelling at her to sit down and eat. :-)

So I was really excited about this benefit concert. I remember when the Symphony announced the Ayer-Blegen endowed chair. They had a special concert for it. I don't remember the composer, but I remember that I was in junior high and definitely a music nerd by then, so I was fascinated by the slightly more abstract music. Anyhow, back to the present, my parents visited me a couple weeks ago and noticed I'd kept the flyer for the benefit concert. My Mom was going to be out of town for her job, but Dad ended up taking me. I felt like the only person under the age of 60 (although this was not entirely true) and I got to see some of my family. Best of all, my old piano teacher, Mrs. Presley, from when I first started taking was there! She was absolutely great, my brother had visited her recently and she was thrilled to hear I was taking jazz from Brent! I will have to go visit her soon. Don't let me forget. Jaen's sister, Julie played the violin for the concert, accompanied by none other than Mrs. Presley's son (who is a famous local pianist in his own right). It was great fun and rather fitting for me to see these two people, who were each connected to my own musical education, (Julie through Jane, and Greg through Mrs. Presley), playing together.

I'm afraid I can't tell you as much about Evelyn. I do remember one story that Clarey (Jane's father) told us before he passed away. I only remember it vaguely so I hope I'm not too off. He had gotten a band together but he needed a band leader. He knew that band leaders played the violin and he knew Evelyn somehow (they weren't married yet) so he asked her to lead it. She refused. So he made up flyers advertising the band and listing her as the leader. She was furious! But she did it anyways. She had to. :-)

Was this an appropriate thing to post on a blog? Probably not. It's probably better suited for a private diary or something of that nature. I feel a little wrong including it here. And yet I feel like I should be telling these stories. They're important stories, they give some idea of these people who are now gone. So thanks for reading.

I Want to Be Ye Olde Piano Teacher

So whatever I end up doing or not doing with music, I know there's one thing I will be able to do. I will be able to teach piano. That will at least remain a connection to the music world even if I don't find any other vocation or hobby that does.

The music department has a really great program that allows college piano students to teach other, beginning piano students and, since I'm on a small scholarship I'm eligible. So I was really excited to sign up for it this year. I had to pay a small fee to join the WMTA but I figured it was worth it.

So after I had registered and all that Judith gave me a phone number of someone who was looking for a piano teacher. They had a 9-year-old boy and a 7-year-old girl and I was really excited to meet my first piano students. Well I set up a meeting with the father and made sure I was prepared with all my interview questions. Well, the girl decided last minute she didn't want to take piano and the boy, when I met him, wasn't so very excited about it. Plus he couldn't seem to mind his father or sit still or do anything but I decided I'd be a little leniant because he was 9 after all. So after discussing whether or not he really wanted to do this we set up a tentative time for a lesson when the father informs me that his son has Asperger's and ADHD. Now I am somewhat informed about these conditions, I know what they are, and generally I wouldn't have a problem except... I've never taught before. I felt terrible but I had to explain that I probably, as a first-year teacher, wasn't the best choice for his son. It was unfortunate and awkward and I felt terrible but I'm certain I did the right thing. After all, you don't want to set up yourself or the child for failure. You want this to be a positive experience and the combination of everything just wasn't pointing in that direction.

So I told Judith about it and she gave me another number which I called. I was slightly nervous because these kids, 11-year-old girl and 9-year-old boy, had taken piano before, but not a lot. Well when I met them I was really pleased. They were both really enthusiastic about music and excited to learn and the mother was as well. It was a really good meeting. One problem. They were also looking at taking from someone else, they just weren't sure if she had room for them in her schedule. I told them I would love to teach them but to make sure and call me and tell me if they had decided to take from me or not. I was hoping to start teaching them this week. But they never called. I'm suspecting that, since the other teacher was more established, they were able to take from her and thought she was the better choice which is probably true. But I really wish they'd call me back. And I'm afraid that this means I won't be able to teach this year and I payed the registration fee for nothing. It's getting way too late in the year to start piano lessons, even if there was anybody still looking for a teacher. Sad. I'm actually extremely disappointed about this. I would love to have as much experience teaching as possible and unfortunately I'm losing a whole year of possible experience.

To add insult to injury something else happened. Every fall outdoor rec takes 10 or so people horseback riding. It fills up really fast, so I didn't get to go last year. I used to take horseback riding, if I could, I would own a horse. So this year I was bound and determined to go horseback riding and I ran over to the HUB at 7:00am (I wasn't sure when the info desk opened) and ended up waiting for an hour while eating breakfast and reading the paper. I was the first one to sign up and really excited. Well, I come back and what do I find. There's a piano teacher's workshop that very day and I'm required to go since I'm on scholarship... I e-mailed Judith about it thinking maybe there was another one some other time or something and got a very stern reply back. No there wasn't any other time to go to it, it's really important irreplacable opportunity for teachers etc. etc. So I decided I didn't need to be a whiny 3-year-old and I could ask outdoor rec for a refund...

But I AM a whiny 3-year-old. Not only am I NOT teaching this year, I have been robbed of my one opportunity to go horseback riding in years because of a TEACHERS WORKSHOP! The irony just kills me. So I'm really not happy about that. Sorry, this is kind of a depressing post, but I'm really not happy about that.